These Days

There are times like today I really miss being in CA. I miss being able to go over and visit with friends and family on days like this because I feel so alone. I smoke out of habit and boredom.I hate that I smoke and have quiet twice, so I know quiting the nasty habit isn't going to kill me. This day is boring. I have tons of knitting projects lined up and look forward to working on them, but its so lonely when you can't get the girls over to knit with you. I should clean, but today I am just not in the mood to do anything.

I pulled out this old pattern and yarn to make my daughter a poncho I have read over the pattern like 4 times now and just stare at the words. Nothing, no motivation to do anything. I did vacuum that took a lot. The dishes in the sink right now are driving me crazy knowing they are sitting there and will only pile up if not done now. Oh I am lazy today.

I did push my self to get to my sons doctors appointment on time for his check up for his helmet he wears. He has a condition that has a name I can not pronounce but basically his head is misshaped and the helmet helps round it out. He was a preemie and this was just one of many things I had to deal with and cry about.

I attempted to make a simple a appointment for my husband to see a doctor to follow up on his arm and and see if he will have to have yet another surgery to cut bone back. When he was injured by an IED he lost his elbow and there really isn't much they can do for him. He has no sense of feeling since the nerves are damaged. Well the bone is trying grow back, which he was told would happen and he might have to have the bone cut back so it doesn't come out of his skin. The appointment was no easy task it's not the same for normal people, I call and get asked a bunch of questions, and then all this info, and then you have to start here and wait for this and do this and then you can see a orthopedic doctor. Good GOD. I was so overwhelmed I was so lost when I hung up I wasn't sure what I signed him up for. I am thinking I wasn't the best person call.

It is so one of those days.