Knit Knit Knit

So between looking for a job and being depressed, I just have to knit to calm my nerves. Knitting really is a therapy. If I keep my hands busy and focus on my creation I feel so calm. The best feeling comes from finishing your creation and knowing you made that. I have been playing around with a few ideas for new felted purse's. I have my yarn ready to knit new Funky Scarves and I am chomping at the bit to go go go. I have have A.D.D. when it comes to knitting, I think I get it from my mom. I start off pulling my yarn then all of the sudden I have piles of books around me with other thing I want to make. Next thing you know I spent the day looking at my yarn, needles and patterns and never get anything made. To help me I have set out the patterns and yarn with needles in individual zip lock bags. When I go in my yarn room I pick up a bag and start knitting, this keeps me from wondering off. Here are few of my new projects and after I felt them they will be up on essenceofara1@etsy.com The new collection is called "The Petite Fille Purse Collection" French for little girl. My 2 year old daughter whom I call the purse collector was my inspiration.

Happy Valentines Day

Valentines Day is tomorrow so in tribute to the romantic day I plan on picking a weed for my husband, it's what we can afford. My husband and I met 4 years ago on an airplane. We were both leaving a city close to our hometowns and headed in separate directions. I was going back to California and he was headed to Washington. While I was waiting to board the plane I noticed him, a very clean cut man. I right off the bat I thought he had a girlfriend. When it was time to board the plane he got on first and I gave up on the idea of meeting him. I was in the last group to board and to my surprise he was sitting alone by the window. Now I am a total window freak I hate the isle seats. I asked if the seat by the Isle was open and he said yes. I sat down and I ran through things in head of how I could start a conversation. He had a brace on so I asked him what happened and that's was all it took. When plane landed he had to stay on and I had to get off. Before I left I gave him my number and said if he was ever in California to call me. I immediately called my mom and told her all about him. He called his mom and told her he met her future daughter in law. Four months later after only talking on the phone we were engaged and One year later we were married. Funny part is both of us were not looking for love that day on the plane. We had both just given up the fact we would meet our soul mate. I guess it really is true that when you least expect it, it just comes naturally.

My New Oops

So I did pick up the needles and yarn again.. what can I say I can't help myself. I started a new poncho pattern for my daughter and yup made an oops. But hey I think it turned out pretty cool looking.


After I finished my poncho I went outside to freeze and read my book. The only place that gives me chance to hear my own thoughts, that was until an ambulance went by. It's odd how sounds take you back to a time and place. For me it was when my mom and I first moved to California. I was 10 and we lived in Burbank. The only place we could afford was this hotel type house. The place was furnished and it wasn't in the greatest neighborhood. Sirens going off was the norm. When it was cold and we couldn't afford heat my mom would heat the hair rollers and put them in my bed. Our dinner would be mac'n cheese or my favorite tuna casserole. The stress at 10 years old had gotten to me knowing we had no money and had not paid rent for three months. I spilt my cup of milk on the floor and just sat down and cried. My mom did her best to hide the situation and be positive but I knew otherwise. So we both sat there and cried together. That next day after school my mom picked me with our car loaded with all our belongings. No place to go and no money, this wasn't the first time we had to sleep in our car. We ate off a gas card from Chevron my grandparents loaned my mom. She had too much pride to tell them of our homeless situation. We slept in our car for a few days until a friend offered us a room in their home. When think back to those days it makes me sad. Life does throw those curve balls.

Just A Thought

Last night I watch the President Address and really wish I could offer my thoughts to the President. Congress should be laid off and then maybe they would move a little faster.Everyday I search the classifieds and find that my background doesn't hold a job. No degree and, even though I have tried to use financial aid to return to college just for certification I can't afford the cost that is not covered. I wish there was some way I could go back to school. Tucson has a limited supply of work. So I am looking at having to separate from my husband and travel else where to find a job. For how long though? It could be a month or even a year that my family will be torn apart. I know you do what you have to so you can make ends meet but I am hating this idea.Kick congress out and put everyday people in there, put people in who have nothing left, no money, no job, home taken away then you will see results. People are so desperate that more home invasions are happening. I am so afraid that I have planned out what I would do if this happened to me. I don't answer the door, I take the long way home and I pray every night to please keep us safe.

This guy my husband used to work with keeps showing up at our house asking us if he can borrower money. We can't pay our own bills and don't know if we will electricity next month you kidding me. The guy got fired because he fell on the job and got hurt, they claim he was drunk. He sent my husband a message last night, that he went to jail and his dad bailed him out. But he needs to pay his dad back and, since he promised his girlfriend he would fly her mom out he needs money for a plane ticket too. WOW!! This guy worries me. When I asked my husband why this guy knows where we live he said he told all the guys just in case anything ever happened to him.

It is the downward spiral and I am hoping that some relief for our family comes our way. There are people who are by far worse off than us. How do you save the world? I can't help but be emotional about the situation.

The hunt

So I put the yarn and needles down for now and I am on the Job hunt full time. Plus the poncho I was making was driving me crazy since I keep making mistakes. Finding a job is like finding a needle in a hay stack. I am having the hardest time I have been looking since last July and no luck. I am part of the cattle call waiting for my turn. The hardest part is finding a job that pays enough to cover day care for two children and enough to pays bills that continue stack up on my desk. No easy task. I have cried so much that my tears have dried up over this issue and now I am just frustrated. I keep searching for anything and hope to hear my phone ring.